Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri
Read more Katy at...
LateBoomer.net
Most Recent Posts
- Hey, Christa, Come On Down!
- This Is Not Your Mother’s Christian Fiction!
- Priceless
- A Veritable Dearth Of Posts
- Ireland In June
- Diana, Come On Down!
- I Hesitate To Say You’re Doubly Lucky, But Hey. You Are.
- Write The Next Chapter!
- About The Post Directly Beneath This Post!
- Deaf. And Evidently Dumb, Too
- O.P.T.
- The Skinny
- A Mother Remembers
- Where Is Dave Barry When We Need Him?
- Overdose
Syndicate
E me at katy @ ngenius.com
An Open Letter To All The Remaining Literary Agents I’ve Not Yet Contacted
Dear Literary Agent,
If you think I haven’t read your blog, you’re wrong. I thought I’d clear that up right away. I am so diligent, I’ve even delved into the archives, perusing entries from as long ago as two weeks. I know what you’re looking for in a client even better than you do. In fact, because I am such a devoted student of your career, writings, and personal life, I feel I can say without a doubt that I am your next dream author.
How am I so sure? I am glad you asked!
For one thing, you’ve very clearly expressed your preference for having “good writing” sent your way. I’m betting your definition of good writing is the same as my mom’s, which means I’m in luck. Attached is the only scene I’ve slapped together so far. After you read it (get a move on!) and I’ve agreed to be represented by you, I will gladly crank out the rest of the novel. It could take a while, though. I am currently in communication with many notable agents, and I feel certain you’ll realize that these relationships represent a considerable time commitment on my part.
In addition, submitting a proposal for a book I haven’t gotten around to writing would be a giant waste of my time, as I am sure you will agree.
Second, you have indicated you don’t want to sign any high-maintenance, best-seller wannabes. I can assure you that I’ve never personally obtained a pedicure (photos availble upon request). Also, I can produce yellowed postcards from both my dentist and OB/GYN verifying that I am nine years behind in my supposedly annual (ha!) check-ups. NO WAY am I high-maintenance! If you’ll either call me on my cell or email me within fourteen minutes of receiving this--as you should if you are truly the professional you profess yourself to be--we can discuss this point until I’m satisfied that you understand.
Third, you state that any client you take on must have a platform already in place. Bingo! We have a winner! I have been an active blogger for seven plus years, during which time I have chronicled with sterling clarity my aging mother’s propensity for swearing like a drunken Marine (no worn-out cliches here, baby!) as well as her advancing incontinence. Google my stats and you’ll see I now have six regular readers, half of whom have agreed to be sent free copies of my first book.
Finally, you say you are seeking authors who seem unlikely to end up one-hit wonders. While I’d prefer NOT to promise you the moon until my staggering work of heartbreaking genius reaches the top of the NYT list, I think it’s pretty safe to say there’s PLENTY more wherever that first scene came from.
In conclusion, I am absolutely brimming with potential, just the way you like ‘em.
I look forward to hearing from you soon. Very soon.
Best regards,
Katy McKenna
http://www.fallible.com
Dear Katy,
Please send me your full manuscript. I’m sure you’re what I’m looking for.
Bob T. Agent (T. stands for THE)
Posted by relevantgirl on 01/09 at 03:59 PMHilarious, Katy!!! If you get a lot of nibbles--which I’m sure you will since Bob T. Agent has already contacted you--you will have to teach a course on this at ACFW. LOL!
Posted by Diann Hunt on 01/09 at 04:01 PMLOL. Go get ‘em girl!
Posted by on 01/09 at 04:14 PMAm I one of your regular readers? I know I’m new to your site, but I try to drop in a couple of times per week. You know I’d love to read your first book.....I’m hoping you will have inspiration for it from your days at good ole St. E’s and STA. That could be hilarious! You don’t seem like the “serious” story writer, but I’m sure you would do great at that, also.
Posted by on 01/10 at 11:57 AMRelevant Mary--Do you pronounce it “Thee” or “Thuh”? I know agents are very particular about writers getting it right.
Di--If ACFW is interested, I will share my wealth of knowledge. For a price, of course. A girl has to eat!!
Suzan--I’m on it!!! :)
Mary Anne--You are a highly esteemed reader! And “six regular readers” was a bit of an exaggeration to the negative side. I actually DO have something of a platform here at fallible, with a respectable number of regular visitors. I appreciate each and every one!!! You are right about me and seriousness. It’s in short supply when I write. I’ve got a whole list of humourous/nostalgic/slice-of-lifey essays written/in the works about those childhood years of the late 50s and 60s. They could definitely make quite a book.....
Posted by katy on 01/10 at 04:47 PMI love reading what you write, Katy. I have no idea why a publisher wouldn’t as well. I hope you get your book deal soon.
Anna
Posted by on 01/16 at 01:10 PMVery creative. Love this…
Posted by Tiffany Stuart on 02/27 at 02:16 PM
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