Bare Naked Mamas
OK, here’s the deal.
My mom did great while I was out of the country. So great, in fact, that it got me to thinking—a lot.
Had I accidentally created a kind of dependent-Mama-underclass, in which I was micro-managing every detail of a woman’s life who was still able to handle quite a few of those details on her own?
In addition, was there something about my own life (or about, um, me…) that I found so uncompelling that I’d rather be about my mother’s business than be about my own?
In the old days, before the Old Country, I’d often arrive at Mom’s and find her sound asleep, mid-morning, naked. She’d say, “Come on in. Sit in that chair over there and talk to me.”
But, you see, the thing is I don’t like chatting up naked ladies. Never have, never will. I like my women with their clothes on, plain and simple.
I’d finally gotten up the gumption, a couple of weeks before we left, to tell Mom that No, I wouldn’t sit across the room from her naked booty and shoot the bull. She’d have to get dressed and come out to the living room, and then we’d talk. She went along with me, but she was clearly disgusted with my standards.
Now I’m raising them even higher. Yesterday and today both I arrived at Mom’s for a visit, opened her apartment door, and saw her naked rear end beaming up at me from the bed in the next room. Instead of waking her up and imploring her to cover up her stuff, I shut the door, retraced my steps to the car, and headed for Starbucks, where all the baristas and the customers have most of their goods artfully dressed.
The facility where she lives in assisted living says that because she’s in a private apartment, she can do whatever she wants within her own walls. And I understand that in theory. In practice, though, doing your own naked thing and expecting that folks won’t find it offensive is, well, kind of antisocial, don’t you think?
What would you do if this was your mama? Engage her on your terms or on hers?
Give me the naked truth, OK?
Posted by Katy
on 05/19/06 at 01:55 PM
- Katy, your truthful insights are, well, um...they make me smile (is that bad?).
If you click on my name, you can go to Lindsay and my pregnantbelly.blogspot.com site. Scroll down to the media player and listen to my baby's heart beat!
Posted by Daniel on 05/19/06 at 10:16 PM
- if your mother is in the mood to get obscure with her body its that she is expecting response of attention, take her out more and let her know and reasure the basis of your beliefs, heck the two of you should have a good time when she realizes her springbreak tactics do not work everyday
Posted by christian singer lookin for band on 05/20/06 at 02:23 PM
- Katy, I don't think it has anything to do with wanting attention or trying to make a scene. I am still a very young person but I know from some, little yes, experience that as we get older the less we care about some things. I for myself care less about what people think about my Oklahoma accent, my mother cares less about her varicose veins or what people might think of her when she jumps into a swimming pool on a really blistering day fully clothed, and my grandpa cares nothing about what people would say if they knew he spent most of his time naked inside his own home. He cleans his house in the nude. She probably just really enjoys how it feels and doesn't realize how off-puting it could be to someone with more modesty. But upon saying all that there is no reason why you shouldn't ask your naked mamma to put some clothes on if she wants to have a conversation with you. I mean really, do we even have conversations about the weather with our naked husbands? No, unless it's in the dark and they're under the covers.
It's okay to ask someone to cover up if they are wanting your attention. Plus, it's hard to pay attention to what they are saying when you are trying hard not to think about where their parts "should" be.
Posted by galadriel on 05/22/06 at 12:59 PM
- I think it is a matter of respect and although, I love to run around my own home nude, I would not invite the neighbors in for coffee that way.
If in the past she was comfortable talking to you in the nude, I wouldn't worry, but if this is something rather new then I would wonder about mental health issues.
Anyway you look at it, you need to say and do what will make you most comfortable in caring for her.
Posted by Maria on 05/24/06 at 07:28 AM
- I really appreciate all of your insight! I've realized that she doesn't do it for attention. She's always been prone to nakedness, even when we were kids. She'd have us come into the bathroom when she was in the tub, and that was our time to get to talk. I didn't like it even then, but sometimes I really needed to speak to my mother alone!
The deeper issue now is that she doesn't have a life. She goes back to her apartment after breakfast, gets naked in the bed, stays that way until she goes out to the lunchroom, comes back to her apartment...you get the idea.
This much I've learned: You can't make someone else want to have a life. God knows I've tried!
Posted by Katy on 05/24/06 at 08:15 AM
- Katy, That reminds me of when I was a kid in a very very small town and I went out selling Girl Scout cookies. One lady I knew answered the door stark naked. I went back and reported to my mom and she said, "Well, she must have been expecting someone else." I still laugh about my mom's comments. Whenever I go back home and see this lady it all comes back to me.
By the way I go to your church but I don't think we've met. One of these days we will and then we can talk about our mothers.
Posted by Alison Swihart on 05/31/06 at 09:45 AM
- Alison--Welcome here! As far as I know, you're the only person from Christ Community who visits here. Do you go to first or second service? We go to first. My hubby Doug plays Irish whistles in worship (he'll be playing this Sunday) so if you sit him sit down with a chick, that would be me. Or at least it had better be me! Your story about your mom and the naked lady is hilarious! Thanks for sharing.
Posted by Katy on 05/31/06 at 05:13 PM
- I found your blog while doing a search for Irish blogs. My youngest daughter has been attending Belfast Bible College in N. Ireland and just started working for the UK Evangelical Alliance (they're still working on approval to hire an American, so it's a bit iffy) and my oldest daughter and her family will be leaving for Dublin to work with Greater Europe Mission as soon as they finish raising their support (hopefully by the end of the year). Naturally the subject interests me!
I love the tin whistle at church! It works so great with some of the old hymns. Is the music team the same in both services? I'll be watching! (I usually go to the 2nd service.) Hopefully we'll meet.
Yeah, my Mom's pretty funny. I spent last weekend with her. She's almost 85 but in terrific shape. The naked lady is still around but pretty old by now since it was about 45 years ago. You never know what's going to happen in a small town. She might have been part of the swingers club.
Posted by Alison on 06/01/06 at 08:40 AM
- That's why I call Mom before we go to visit to warn her and tell her to make sure that she has on her clothes! Hee, hee! :)
Posted by Bridget on 06/09/06 at 11:39 PM
- Thank you very much for this article interesting .
Posted by شات ماشى on 07/21/10 at 06:29 AM
- Why has Starbucks increased their prices? I mean I love Starbucks, but they're gradually becoming more expensive. I don't understand... Their business is obviously successful since there are Starbucks in many parts of the world so why the need to increase prices? I just went to Starbucks today after a long time and paid $4 for a grande Pumpkin Spice Latte whereas before I only paid like around $3. They have already increased their prices twice in my area. Seems like they're becoming greedy. Some please enlighten me?
Simplegal: I don't go to fastfood restaurants so where does that come from and I don't have to deal with it because I won't go to Starbucks anymore since they're prices are ridiculous. And to those of you who said I've answered my own question didn't understand my question. My question is why are they increasing their prices if they're so successful? Why not just keep the prices low since they already have so many customers? I mean they can lose customers if they continue increasing their prices so I don't see how it'll benefit them.
la la: This is NOT the first increase in prices, this is the second increase in my area. And of course you wouldn't think they're greedy since you obviously work for them! I'm sure you're getting paid really well so obviously money talks. Apparently some of you do not read questions thoroughly.
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