Falling By The Wayside
There are many things I’m letting go, so very many things.
I’ve learned, in slow motion over the span of decades, with arms outreached and exhausted from perpetual effort, that I cannot keep a single sparrow from falling out of the sky. I can cradle the lifeless fallen in my cupped palm, let a stray tear fall on its head in the baptism of the dead, and bury it in a shoe box, if I’m so inclined. But I can’t prevent its fall or soften the inevitable crash, either.
I am not God.
I’ve learned, during frantic episodes of manic good works, that I cannot direct the course of another’s life. I am not called to be so kind that I inadvertently protect a human soul from the dealings of a loving Savior. I am not appointed to prevent a friend from coming into contact with the One who may or may not seem to be, at that moment, as beneficient as I imagine myself to be.
I am not God.
I’ve learned, through years of multi-tasking yet somehow missing the miracles in the moment, that each of us is only given one brief life on this earth. It flees as if on fire, faster every day it races toward the finish line as it sees the prize ahead, and I am powerless to stop it. I cannot slow the speed with which my earthly life sprints, but I can slow my heart and mind to match the unrushed rhythms of eternity. I can focus on the minutest detail of the now, and stop the clock, second by second.
Even though I am not God.
I am letting so many things fall by the wayside. I am casting aside the weights that so easily encumber me, the burdens I am not meant to carry, the concerns that have not been fashioned by my Creator for me to bear.
I, too, am falling by the wayside, like a seed sown in uncertain and apparently unyielding ground. I am trusting more than ever in the One who raises us and brings forth fruit from those who answer His frightening bidding to fall to the earth and die.
Because, when all is said and done, I am not now, nor will I ever be God.
Posted by Katy on 01/18/11 at 01:45 PMFallible Comments...
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