Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri
Katy is represented by
Greg Johnson at
WordServe Literary
Read more Katy at
LateBoomer.net
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Recent Posts
- Try
- Becoming Brenda Starr
- Off Beat
- Scattered
- That’s It
- So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What?
- The Spoon
- Sciatica
- Sweetheart
- A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose
- However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time
- After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices.
- As with everything in life, balance is key.
- Slow down, you move too fast…
- Yeah, I know. I have issues.
Syndicate
E me at katy @ ngenius.com
Motivating Mom
My sister Liz and I were at Mom's place, sprucing her up to get ready to go out to lunch. Taking a shower is a big deal for her, and putting on her shoes and socks is an ordeal, so we tried to pace ourselves.Mom herself provided the pacing.
"Let me show you this article I clipped from Family Circle," she said, in an effort to kill a little time while she caught her breath. "It's about fibromyalgia."
So we all sat down and had a science lesson.
"Before we go, I need one of you to fill out a deposit slip for me. Here, let me find my checkbook..."
Another few minutes of stall time.
"I've been thinking about that container of love letters in my closet. One of you needs to take those. They're just taking up space."
Okay, Mom.
And then the clincher:
"Katy, before we go...you remember me telling you how I bought that package of Hanes Her Way panties? And how I meant to get a size 9 but when I opened them I realized they must be size 6? Come here with me, I want to give you those panties..."
Eeeewww. I can't think of anything worse than wearing OPP (other people's panties).
She found two likely pairs in what I'll just call her Scorched Earth Panty Drawer From the Very Bad Place, and held up one for our approval.
"That's not a size 6, Mom," I said. "Do I look that big to you? Two of me would fit in those."
"That may be true," she agreed. "But they sure aren't a size 9, are they? Maybe they'd fit Liz."
Liz, who's not a drop bigger than I am, shook her head violently. I'm not positive, but I'm guessing Liz doesn't wear snow-white high-water granny panties.
I wanted to speed up the So Not Victoria's Secret fashion show, so I grabbed the companion pair in her charitable panty collection and held it up for inspection. My mouth dropped open at the sight.
Through a process of repeated and concerted stuffing and stretching that could only be accomplished by a determined woman with an ever-expanding girth and a well-developed sense of denial, her formerly waist-high size 9s had become low-rise bikini size 12s.
"Whoa, Mama," I said. "You're stylin'."
"Give me those!" she said, snatching them from my hand. She stuffed them back in the drawer with a huff of disgust, grabbed her purse, and said, "We're outta' here."
I still know how to get her going.
Posted by Katy on 10/08/04 at 09:17 AM
Fallible Comments...
- That is SO funny! I'm with you on the OPP thing...and granny panties at that!
I'm glad you got her moving :-)
-----Posted by Deb on 10/08/04 at 08:51 PM - Deb, Thanks for the encouragement! I have to tell these stories to keep myself upbeat, and because I certainly don't want to discount the entertainment value of a quirky mama. She's a corker, that's for sure!
Posted by katy on 10/12/04 at 11:30 PM
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