So, here it is November 22. You may remember that I threw my lot in with the crazies who try to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).
I’ve accomplished this feat twice before, and since I had a wonderful novel idea outlined and ready to go, I figured November was a great time to make some fantastic headway. My experience with my own personal 50,000-word novels in a month is that they are truly horrible, so I did not intend to shoot for that particular goal. Instead, I figured ending the month of November with a respectable 20,000 words that didn’t need to be rewritten from now till Kingdom come would work for me.
I haven’t written 20,000 words, but I think I may have shed that many tears. And considering 1.) I am not a crier and 2.) My right eye has never produced tears in a quantity commensurate with my left eye since my brain surgery of Nov. 15, 1999, um. Let’s just agree that 20,000 tears is a LOT of boo-hooing.
Right this minute, I am looking over the November page of my huge wall calendar, the one with a different designer shoe photo on each day’s date. I’m trying to recreate exactly what’s gone wrong, trying to give an account—-even to myself—-of how my life has deteriorated so badly.
I love the Scripture that says, “Sufficient for the day is the trouble thereof.” I truly try to take one day at a time, even if my mind starts churning at 4 am and doesn’t stop until I believe I’ve handled all the details I must before I fall asleep again. But, O fallible ones, you should see this mess of a calendar.
If the sign of an out of control life is a messy purse, wouldn’t you think that gal could at least have a calendar where a single day’s events can be jotted within one enormous square?
Just an an exercise in something besides elder care, I am going to quote here the contents of my November page. Again, these items are scribbled across random days, with no regard for order or common sense or logic.
During the first week of November, things were relatively sane. We had one funeral to attend, for my dear son-in-law’s grandfather. Other than spending unplanned time with my daughter and her husband, who drove in from Indiana, things went as hoped. I wrote 5000 words that week!
Can I get an Amen and Hallelujah? Please?
Here are the rest of my notes from my calendar:
Nov 9. 11:57. Call her. Tracy. Dr. Holt can see Mom at nursing home.
Nov 10. Dr. Steven Gruenbaum
Nov 11. Alice = Mom’s nurse at Villa St. Jo. Dr. Holt’s phone number. Carol. By 2 pm, 4 times diarrhea. 11-20-09
Nov 12. Blank. I wonder what on earth THAT means.
Nov 13. (Crossed out: Doug GDX test, Discover Vision.) Mom admitted to Menorah Hospital after fall. First 24 hours called Observation. Dr. Gruenebaum. Disaster.
Nov 14. Doses of Vancomycin. Active: Prevention:
Nov 15. Clothing. Diapers. TV.
Nov 16. Mom to Dr. Bruce. 10 am. Shoulder.
Nov 17. Doug’s first eye surgery. (Crossed out: Mom sees Dr. Holt after lunch. Liz) Mom moves to Villa St. Jo nursing home.
Nov 18. 1-day follow-up for Doug’s eye surgery.
Nov 19. Michelle’s phone number. (Who in the world is Michelle?) Four BMs in night.
Nov 20. (Crossed out: Mom admitted to Menorah.) Mom’s C.diff is back. “Yesterday morning, man and woman. Rolling from side to side. They were staring.”
Nov 21. Mom admitted after midnight.
Nov 25. Villa St. Jo nursing home 10:30 care plan. 9:30 Doug to Discover Vision
Nov 26. Thanksgiving. Eat w/Mom? Doug with his fam?
Nov 27. Scott, Brooke, Kevin, Mike over——Brunch????
Nov 28. Katy called Dr. Peters 4 pm Friday 11-20-09. Dr. Sword—-switch to Dr. Geha he can call Suzanne Mary Linda
And now, from October, just so you’ll see what led up to this:
Oct 15. broken shoulder 1:15—Mom to Dr. Bruce. 10:00 Doug to Discover Vision
Oct 17. Marcia. Physical therapist. 20” wheelchair. 27” total width. footplates. Invacare. 20” firm cushion waterproof. standard. $390. 75. 50. 5.
Oct 18. Med history and medicines. Ask Nicole how long surgery and gen or local.
Oct 19. (Crossed out: Menorah—afternoon Mom—knee surgery. Stop all blood thinners 5 days before. No eat or drink after midnight. Get wheelchair van.)
Oct 21. (Crossed out: Doug to Discover Vision.)
Oct 23. Dr. Monaco. Kim. Nurse practitioner. Medical Group of KC. Anna. 3—5 days.
Oct 24. 390. 125. 515. Order # 16400406 Party here Sunday school Octoberfest
Oct 27. Doug and Katy dentist 8:30. Bridget to neurologist.
Oct 29. (Crossed out: 10-day post-op at Dr. Bruce w/Rebekah. 9:45
Oct 30. 9:00 Doug’s eyes pre-op. (Crossed out: 10:30 GDX test). $2650 per eye. $5300 total. Out with Colwells? 6:30. Classic Cup.
Oct 31. Call for return #. $395 total. Linda. Invacare SX5. Lightweight. $126. change. 3—4 hrs. sealed waterproof coating xtra
You should know that when things got really bad, I made no notes at all. I was too consumed with the actual events taking place. The stuff I left off the October and November pages tell the real story, the one that might get me sued for defamation or worse if I told it here.
UPDATE: While writing this blog post, on Nov 22, head nurse Bonnie called from Mom’s room at nursing home. If I had any space on my calendar during the entire month of November, I’d write this: Mom won’t accept treatment because Bonnie told her she’s there on her own dime. Medicare won’t $$$$. Said Mom is responsible party. NO!!! I am responsible party!!! Not Mom’s problem!!!!!
I hoped to be published someday, I really did. Now it’s come to this. I can’t even decipher my own calendar entries.
If I keep it up, by Nov. 30, I’ll have shed a cool 50,000 tears for NaNoCryMo.
The Bible says God collects every one of my tears in a bottle, a truly comforting thought. But I’m pretty sure He’s gonna need a bigger container.
Posted by Katy on 11/22/09 at 05:20 PMFallible Comments...
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