Our Fallible Wedding

Thirty-two years ago this morning—-yes, we had an eleven o’clock wedding—-Doug Raymond and I exchanged vows that would determine the course of the rest of our lives.

And, of course, the rest of my life with this man has been the stuff of dreams. The one thing that has amazed me day after day, year after year, is that he is a man of integrity. I believed I knew his character when I agreed to be his wife, but who can know for certain? As it turns out, Doug is still the man I married, a man whose constant kindness and compassion have made all the difference in my life.

Now, just for fun and (at our ages, it must be said) for posterity, I’m going to share 32 Things About Our Fallible Wedding Day, most of which our own children probably don’t know. And in a very real sense, I write this for them: Scott and his bride Brooke, Carrie and her husband Marc, and Kevin. Everything about our marriage pointed to the family we would raise together, to the joy God had in mind for us when He planned to give us these children. So kids, this one’s for you!

1. The night before our wedding, we rehearsed at Second Presbyterian Church in Kansas City, and then went to Doug’s parents’ house for a homemade spaghetti dinner. Most of the girls wore full-length dresses that night, and the men wore suits and ties. I wore an ivory muslin and rust velvet-trimmed Gunne Sax dress, designed by Jessica McClintock, who still designs fabulous clothes. I wore a necklace by 1928, a new company at that time and one I still purchase to this day. I looked like a million bucks and Doug looked hot. HOT. But we were Jesus Freaks. We didn’t talk like that! Ha.

2. I decided to spend my last night as a single girl with my parents, in my old bed in The Dormitory. We moved into that house when I was six, and Liz, Mary, and I had twin beds lined up in a bedroom with two dressers and one small closet to share. The beds took up most of the space, needless to say. But by the time I got married at age 23, I’d already lived away from home for five years and hadn’t spent a single night in that bed during those years. I’m surprised I got any sleep at all, but I did.

3. My mother made me bacon and eggs at the crack of dawn on February 19, 1977. If I’d only stuck with a nice low-carb diet like I had that morning for my entire adult life, I’d have never had the crazy weight problems I’ve battled, but THAT’S another story. While I ate Mom’s breakfast, Doug and his groomsmen were eating a gourmet meal of Egg McMuffins at McDonald’s. We were very easy to please in those days.

4. I acted as my own personal assistant. Washed, dried, and curled my hair. Painted my nails a pale caramel color, and did my own make-up. My father expressed his horror over the dark russet colored lipstick I had worn for my newspaper photo pics, and so for my wedding, I wore a lighter shade that nearly matched my nails. He seemed happy with that, which was good because…..

5. Dad was extremely unhappy we were getting married in a Presbyterian church. Only I did not know this. Doug and I were both raised Catholic, but started going to a non-denominational Jesus People Bible study as teenagers. The group happened to meet in a Presbyterian church, and the church happened to be gorgeous. Dad would have had to bribe the priest to get us married in the Catholic church, and while he wasn’t above bribery, it never occurred to us how hurt he would be over our decision. After he died (when I was 30), Mom told me he almost could not walk me down the aisle. He was from Scotland, you see, and the Catholics and Presbyterians didn’t exactly mix it up over there. If only I had known…..

6. My mom and her friends spent several days making the food for the reception. Unlike most of our friends who only served cake and punch, we had sandwiches! Roast beef and ham on buns. And mints from a fantastic new spot called Laura’s Fudge Shop, now called Laura Little’s Candy Kitchen. And M&Ms. We did not, however, have booze. My parents never forgave me for that, as it embarrassed them and also forced them to have an after-reception party at their house for the drinkers. (We only popped in long enough to see my drunken uncle ash his ciggie on the priceless Persian rug, and then it was off to the airport for us.)

7. When we arrived at the church, me in my purple Gremlin and my parents in their ginormous station wagon, I soon realized I had forgotten my shoes. I had paid $42 for them at Chasnoff’s, a swanky store in which you could find off-season items like leather ivory heels if you got lucky. Some sweet soul took my car and went back for my shoes, the only misplaced item of the day. I haven’t lost them since, by the way. They’re in a plastic bag in the hope chest.

8. My wedding dress cost $160, a small fortune. It was the first dress of many I tried on, but I needn’t have bothered with the others. I knew that dress was perfect the instant I saw it. It was a size four, but they had to cut away half of it for it to fit right. Sheesh.

9. Coincidentally, $160 is the same price Doug and I paid for all three rings: his wedding band, my wedding band, and the engagement band into which we had set the diamond from his grandmother’s engagement ring. These days, they say to plan on spending two months’ salary on an engagement ring. Who comes up with this stuff? Back then, I was making $800 per month and Doug made $600. If he’d suggested spending $1200 on a ring, I would have backed out of the deal. And by the deal, I mean the marriage.

10. I have receipts for all expenses pertaining to our wedding and honeymoon. The kids will find them someday and chuckle, the way I still do when I run across the hospital receipt for my own birth. (No health insurance back then, you know. For $140, Mom and Dad brought me home free and clear.)

11. The trend of taking photos before the wedding was just beginning in 1977. We took all the photos we could, stopping short of seeing each other prior to the ceremony. That was a tradition I could not bear breaking. The WOW factor of waiting is like the wonder of not knowing the sex of your babies until they arrive—-a treat we also enjoyed with each of our kids. When I took my father’s arm, I looked up and saw Doug waiting for me by the altar. Those beautiful green eyes of his let me know he liked what he saw. He wore an ivory tux with brown velvet bow tie and cummerbund and he looked HOT. Smokin’ hot, only we were Jesus Freaks and we….well, you know.

12. There were no camcorders then, and no one in attendance had a movie camera. Somewhere in this house, though, we have an honest-to-goodness reel-to-reel audio recording of the ceremony. We haven’t listened to it once in 32 years, because we couldn’t figure out a way to play it in our 8-track. Ha.

13. I walked down the aisle to “Fairest Lord Jesus,” played by a classical guitarist friend of ours. The traditional bridal march was out of the question, because for my whole life my father had sung, “Here comes the bride, fair, fat and wide….” to that tune. Kind of ruined it for me!

14. I wanted Doug to sing to me during the ceremony, but he said he wouldn’t be able to get through it. He’d written a beautiful song with words straight out of Hosea, “I will betroth thee unto me forever…..” A friend of ours sang it, and did a great job, but all these years later, when Doug sings it, I still weep.

15. I also expressed a strong desire, during our wedding planning, for bagpipes. I am sorry, but my family has pipes at every wedding and funeral, and sometimes in between. Evidently, the French do not share this tradition. Doug flatly turned me down, though in the past ten years he’s become a huge fan of Celtic music and now can PLAY the bagpipes. Ah, well. There’s still my funeral to look forward to!

16. I had five bridesmaids—-my sisters Liz and Mary, and my friends JoAnn, Dorothy, and Annie, plus my darling baby sister Bridget, who was ten and acted as my junior bridesmaid.I am close to all these women to this day! Doug is very good friends with all but one of his groomsmen, also. We have a randomly shot photo of that guy stashing a present from the gift table under his tuxedo jacket, and we don’t know what became of him after that…..

17. As much as we adored our pastor “charging” us to obey every Scripture in Ephesians, Corinthians, and several other books of the Bible, both of us were looking ahead to the part about “kissing the bride.” Someday, though, we WILL get that tape out and go over the instructions again, in case we overlooked something. Needless to say, we did not overlook kissing.

18. We received tons of groovy gifts, including several cards with $5 enclosed—-a typical amount one might expect from peers in those days. My parents gave us two dining chairs to go with the table and four chairs I’d purchased earlier. Doug’s mom and dad gave us a stand mixer. We also received, from a dignified older couple, a green ceramic hanging frog ash tray. And—-from a girl who had a crush on Doug and did not care for me one wee little bit—-a squirrel cookie jar.

19. We spent our first night together in Miami, at the airport hotel. We thought staying near the airport would be a great idea, since we’d be leaving there the next morning for Ocho Rios, Jamaica. How could we know that it would be hotter than blazes in Florida, that the air conditioner would be broken, that we would have to open the windows to survive, and that the planes would land and take off RIGHT OUTSIDE OUR WINDOW? Seriously, how could we know that??

20. By the time we were getting on the plane to head for Jamaica, Doug’s father was having a heart attack. His mother contacted my mother and they debated whether or not they should call us. Doug’s father was in the advanced stages of malignant melanoma and had barely been able to attend the wedding. In fact, he was too sick to stay for the reception. But a heart attack?

21. They decided not to call us. We went to Jamaica, blissfully unaware of what was happening on the home front. When we arrived back at the KC airport one week later, I called my mother to let her know we were on terra firma. “Go straight to the hospital,” she said. “Your father-in-law is not doing well….” Jack made it home from the hospital, but died two months later.

22. I’ve always asked myself what we would have done if his mom had called us before we got on that plane. Would we have skipped our honeymoon? It’s haunted me enough over the course of our marriage that the story actually makes its way into the novel I wrote. In the novel, they skip their honeymoon.

23. We climbed that crazy waterfall in Ocho Rios and we’ve even climbed it once since then. I’ve got some Tarzan and Jane pics to go with the first climb. My rust-colored one-piece suit cost over $30 (off-season, again!) and I still have it. I looked FINE in that suit. On the second climb, ten years ago, let’s just say I did not wear my size-tiny suit.

24. I had a couple of showers, but don’t remember any of my friends giving me lingerie. There was no Victoria’s Secret back then, although I suppose for the gutsy, there was Frederick’s of Hollywood. I wasn’t that brave! The store now known as Dillards used to be Stix, Baer, and Fuller, and they had a beautiful lingerie department. For our wedding night, I purchased a traditional white peignoir set—-a long gown with a matching robe. I still have it, and when I pull it out to take a look, I try to imagine it fitting successfully over a broomstick. It’s that skinny. Sigh.

25. At the all-inclusive resort where we stayed called “Tower Island” (it’s now a Sandals), we were served three fantastic meals each day, typically from a buffet. This is when I learned that Doug is extremely picky and won’t eat anything he doesn’t recognize. For some meals, they dished out only native foods, and Doug sulked while I ate him under the table. This still sometimes happens today.

26. One night in Jamaica, we decided to spring for a meal in a restaurant in the town. We made reservations at Moxie’s, the place with the best reputation. We knew it would cost us ($38!), but we thought it would be fun. We sat at a table on the multi-terraced grounds and enjoyed several moments of peace before THE HUGEST ROACH I’VE EVER SEEN scampered across our candlelit table!!! I totally freaked out and demanded a table inside the restaurant, where the manager actually came to our table and told us that all Americans are WIMPS.

27. We wrote our own vows. I still have them, on ripped out stenographer’s pad paper. I wrote mine in ink, but I believe Doug wrote his in pencil. Neither sheet has faded.

28. I have my intensive to-do lists from those days. Pages and pages of contact info for photographers and bakeries and florists and dress shops. Lists of ideas for gifts to present to our attendants. All the tourist info about Jamaica and notes comparing resorts as far as features and prices, and info from the airlines, as well. An index card for each invited guest, with their address and phone numbers, to which I later added a description of the gifts they gave and the dates I sent thank-you cards.

29. Doug has one note to himself: Get fitted for tux. I had to write myself a note to remind him to read his note.

30. When we’d been married around 25 years, I came upon two thank-you notes I’d written and never mailed. I tracked down the gift-givers and sent the notes!

31. When we visited my parents upon arriving home from Jamaica, my father asked us why we weren’t tanned. He wasn’t known for subtlety.

32. We’re still not tanned.

Doug, I can only say that there are a million memories of not just the beginning of our life together, but of every sweet minute with you. Thank you for making them stick.

Posted by Katy on 02/19/09 at 08:48 AM

Fallible Comments...

Oh, I enjoyed reading this for so many reasons! Congrats, you two! How I loved those Gunne Sax dresses!
Posted by Suzan on 02/19/09 at 01:46 PM
Katy! I love this so much! The picture is classic...you're beautiful!

1) We went to the (now)Sandals at Ocho Rios for our Honeymoon too! There are pictures on Facebook...I'd be facinated to see yours! We didn't climb the waterfall (we were too broke!), but...is Moxie's still there? Because I think I remembered reading it was...

2) Did you ever tell me your dad was Scottish?! (I miss it there...)

3) Four months later, I still haven't done my Thank You cards. I'm a horrible person.

Thank you so much for this post. And Happy Anniversary!
Posted by Michaela Flack on 02/19/09 at 02:03 PM
I wonder if I could come up with 20 things as interesting as this for my wedding...certainly makes me think... This was great to read, and I'm so sorry I missed your anniversary. I don't know where my mind is these days. UGH. Love to you and Doug...you are BOTH very special to me! :)
Posted by Bridget on 02/20/09 at 12:32 PM
Katy,
That was great. Congratulations on your anniversary. It's nice to hear other people's stories. Rob and I eloped, sort of, so I don't have as many details, but we were Jesus freaks too. Maybe I will blog my story next Nov when we hit 39!! Blessings my dear friend.

PS. I am writing my funeral service and it definitely has bagpipes!! The two I have been to lately were so boring. I want music, lots and lots of music! to dance to while I watch :)
Posted by Sandi Thompson on 02/20/09 at 03:11 PM
Hello Katy,

That was lovely and quite inspiring. I was married six weeks ago and pray earnestly for such fond memories. Thank you & I look forward to reading more of your writings. Stay blessed.

LJ
Posted by Lilly on 02/21/09 at 10:28 PM
Hello Katy,
I enjoyed reading of it for so many reasons!
I am a wedding photographer. As fine to take pictures histories of love.
Posted by Marina on 03/27/09 at 05:13 AM
Katy!I enjoyed reading this for so many reasons, Congratulations on your anniversary.The picture is classic…you’re beautiful!It’s nice to hear other people’s stories. Rob and I eloped, sort of, so I don’t have as many details, but we were Jesus freaks too. Maybe I will blog my story next Nov when we hit 39!! Blessings my dear friend.
<a href="http://www.finetuxedos.com">Tuxedo</a>
Posted by Tuxedo on 06/10/09 at 01:09 PM
Hello, I have never done this before but I need some advice. I am the fiance of an Iraqi war verteran. He has been home for 2 years now. Our wedding would be 5 months away. However, he was issued an order warning for possible deployment to Iraq. We have had to cancel everything. It looks as if they are 99.9% sure that he will be leaving most likely before the start of the summer. My question is......should we move up the wedding and get married before his deployment. He is my world and deployed or not deployed I want to be with him for forever. I need some advice....thank you so much for your time.

<a href="http://www.angelbridal.com">Wedding Gown</a>
Posted by Wedding Gown on 06/17/09 at 10:35 AM
I had some very dear friends of mine be excommunicated for "living in sin" because their marriage wasn't performed in a church. They had it in a nondenominational chapel of a location that meant a great deal to them. It didn't make any difference to the church. They were still considered to not be married.
Posted by bodas on 07/29/09 at 01:43 PM
Thanks for sharing this insights with us. A wrong timing in taking wedding pictures can indeed ruin the moment. This is the reason why choosing a perfect wedding photography is one detail in my wedding preparation that gives me too much headache.<a href="http://www.pearljewelrysource.com">pearl earrings</a>
Posted by pearl earrings on 08/19/09 at 04:53 AM
This story is so heart-piercing. Your memory impresses with the details of this story.
Thank you for sharing.
Posted by wedding photographer Vadim Uvazhny on 08/24/09 at 10:55 AM
This is a very nice post. Thanks for sharing. I have learned a lot from this post.
For anyone who is looking for wedding bands, visit us at <a href="http://miamiweddingbands.org/">Wedding Musics in Miami</a> for more details on how to make your special day more memorable.
Posted by Miami Wedding Band on 08/25/09 at 01:42 AM
I have spread my dreams beneath your feet;Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
Posted by florida wedding on 08/25/09 at 01:58 AM
I fall asleep, but only for a moment. I dream of her childhood, and then of her grown-up beauty, of her wedding to a wonderful man.
Posted by Wedding MC Jokes on 04/24/10 at 05:17 PM
"To fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible god." ... Some even suggested I go to the wedding!
Posted by rings on 04/30/10 at 02:41 PM
I will be wearing a fairly informal ivory dress and would like to wear fairly comfortable shoes that I can feel comfortable in all day. I also do not want to dye shoes, I want shoes that come in ivory. What I would like most is a moderate heel--something about 2 inches or so--with a comfortable wedge heel. I'm having difficulty finding something--can anyone recommend an appropriate shoe?
Posted by high heels on 06/04/10 at 08:44 PM
Really you got a good partner to share your thoughts with entire life and I love your photography.
Posted by Wedding Insurance on 09/09/10 at 12:11 PM
That's great! I wonder if I can come up with this 20 things as interesting as this for my wedding and certainly makes me think. This was great to read, and I am so sorry I missed your anniversary.
Posted by clialis on 12/13/10 at 01:45 PM
Those are probably memories that you will never forget and be able to tell at any minute. Our wedding was very important also and my wife and I can remember every little detail about the day. We even hired two photographers in order to catch photos normally one photographer may not be able to. We keep four very large albums out in our home so we will never forget the memories we may have never seen if it wasn't for photos. Truly something very special to share with others.
Posted by Roger on 02/08/11 at 12:54 PM

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Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	Our Fallible Wedding Thirty-two years ago this morning—-yes, we had an eleven o’clock wedding—-Doug Raymond and I exchanged vows that would determine the course of the rest of our lives. And, of course, the rest of my life with this man has been the stuff of dreams. The one thing that has amazed me day after day, year after year, is that he is a man of integrity. I believed I knew his character when I agreed to be his wife, but who can know for certain? As it turns out, Doug is still the man I married, a man whose constant kindness and compassion have made all the difference in my life. Now, just for fun and (at our ages, it must be said) for posterity, I’m going to share 32 Things About Our Fallible Wedding Day, most of which our own children probably don’t know. And in a very real sense, I write this for them: Scott and his bride Brooke, Carrie and her husband Marc, and Kevin. Everything about our marriage pointed to the family we would raise together, to the joy God had in mind for us when He planned to give us these children. So kids, this one’s for you! 1. The night before our wedding, we rehearsed at Second Presbyterian Church in Kansas City, and then went to Doug’s parents’ house for a homemade spaghetti dinner. Most of the girls wore full-length dresses that night, and the men wore suits and ties. I wore an ivory muslin and rust velvet-trimmed Gunne Sax dress, designed by Jessica McClintock, who still designs fabulous clothes. I wore a necklace by 1928, a new company at that time and one I still purchase to this day. I looked like a million bucks and Doug looked hot. HOT. But we were Jesus Freaks. We didn’t talk like that! Ha. 2. I decided to spend my last night as a single girl with my parents, in my old bed in The Dormitory. We moved into that house when I was six, and Liz, Mary, and I had twin beds lined up in a bedroom with two dressers and one small closet to share. The beds took up most of the space, needless to say. But by the time I got married at age 23, I’d already lived away from home for five years and hadn’t spent a single night in that bed during those years. I’m surprised I got any sleep at all, but I did. 3. My mother made me bacon and eggs at the crack of dawn on February 19, 1977. If I’d only stuck with a nice low-carb diet like I had that morning for my entire adult life, I’d have never had the crazy weight problems I’ve battled, but THAT’S another story. While I ate Mom’s breakfast, Doug and his groomsmen were eating a gourmet meal of Egg McMuffins at McDonald’s. We were very easy to please in those days. 4. I acted as my own personal assistant. Washed, dried, and curled my hair. Painted my nails a pale caramel color, and did my own make-up. My father expressed his horror over the dark russet colored lipstick I had worn for my newspaper photo pics, and so for my wedding, I wore a lighter shade that nearly matched my nails. He seemed happy with that, which was good because….. 5. Dad was extremely unhappy we were getting married in a Presbyterian church. Only I did not know this. Doug and I were both raised Catholic, but started going to a non-denominational Jesus People Bible study as teenagers. The group happened to meet in a Presbyterian church, and the church happened to be gorgeous. Dad would have had to bribe the priest to get us married in the Catholic church, and while he wasn’t above bribery, it never occurred to us how hurt he would be over our decision. After he died (when I was 30), Mom told me he almost could not walk me down the aisle. He was from Scotland, you see, and the Catholics and Presbyterians didn’t exactly mix it up over there. If only I had known….. 6. My mom and her friends spent several days making the food for the reception. Unlike most of our friends who only served cake and punch, we had sandwiches! Roast beef and ham on buns. And mints from a fantastic new spot called Laura’s Fudge Shop, now called Laura Little’s Candy Kitchen. And M&Ms. We did not, however, have booze. My parents never forgave me for that, as it embarrassed them and also forced them to have an after-reception party at their house for the drinkers. (We only popped in long enough to see my drunken uncle ash his ciggie on the priceless Persian rug, and then it was off to the airport for us.) 7. When we arrived at the church, me in my purple Gremlin and my parents in their ginormous station wagon, I soon realized I had forgotten my shoes. I had paid $42 for them at Chasnoff’s, a swanky store in which you could find off-season items like leather ivory heels if you got lucky. Some sweet soul took my car and went back for my shoes, the only misplaced item of the day. I haven’t lost them since, by the way. They’re in a plastic bag in the hope chest. 8. My wedding dress cost $160, a small fortune. It was the first dress of many I tried on, but I needn’t have bothered with the others. I knew that dress was perfect the instant I saw it. It was a size four, but they had to cut away half of it for it to fit right. Sheesh. 9. Coincidentally, $160 is the same price Doug and I paid for all three rings: his wedding band, my wedding band, and the engagement band into which we had set the diamond from his grandmother’s engagement ring. These days, they say to plan on spending two months’ salary on an engagement ring. Who comes up with this stuff? Back then, I was making $800 per month and Doug made $600. If he’d suggested spending $1200 on a ring, I would have backed out of the deal. And by the deal, I mean the marriage. 10. I have receipts for all expenses pertaining to our wedding and honeymoon. The kids will find them someday and chuckle, the way I still do when I run across the hospital receipt for my own birth. (No health insurance back then, you know. For $140, Mom and Dad brought me home free and clear.) 11. The trend of taking photos before the wedding was just beginning in 1977. We took all the photos we could, stopping short of seeing each other prior to the ceremony. That was a tradition I could not bear breaking. The WOW factor of waiting is like the wonder of not knowing the sex of your babies until they arrive—-a treat we also enjoyed with each of our kids. When I took my father’s arm, I looked up and saw Doug waiting for me by the altar. Those beautiful green eyes of his let me know he liked what he saw. He wore an ivory tux with brown velvet bow tie and cummerbund and he looked HOT. Smokin’ hot, only we were Jesus Freaks and we….well, you know. 12. There were no camcorders then, and no one in attendance had a movie camera. Somewhere in this house, though, we have an honest-to-goodness reel-to-reel audio recording of the ceremony. We haven’t listened to it once in 32 years, because we couldn’t figure out a way to play it in our 8-track. Ha. 13. I walked down the aisle to “Fairest Lord Jesus,” played by a classical guitarist friend of ours. The traditional bridal march was out of the question, because for my whole life my father had sung, “Here comes the bride, fair, fat and wide….” to that tune. Kind of ruined it for me! 14. I wanted Doug to sing to me during the ceremony, but he said he wouldn’t be able to get through it. He’d written a beautiful song with words straight out of Hosea, “I will betroth thee unto me forever…..” A friend of ours sang it, and did a great job, but all these years later, when Doug sings it, I still weep. 15. I also expressed a strong desire, during our wedding planning, for bagpipes. I am sorry, but my family has pipes at every wedding and funeral, and sometimes in between. Evidently, the French do not share this tradition. Doug flatly turned me down, though in the past ten years he’s become a huge fan of Celtic music and now can PLAY the bagpipes. Ah, well. There’s still my funeral to look forward to! 16. I had five bridesmaids—-my sisters Liz and Mary, and my friends JoAnn, Dorothy, and Annie, plus my darling baby sister Bridget, who was ten and acted as my junior bridesmaid.I am close to all these women to this day! Doug is very good friends with all but one of his groomsmen, also. We have a randomly shot photo of that guy stashing a present from the gift table under his tuxedo jacket, and we don’t know what became of him after that….. 17. As much as we adored our pastor “charging” us to obey every Scripture in Ephesians, Corinthians, and several other books of the Bible, both of us were looking ahead to the part about “kissing the bride.” Someday, though, we WILL get that tape out and go over the instructions again, in case we overlooked something. Needless to say, we did not overlook kissing. 18. We received tons of groovy gifts, including several cards with $5 enclosed—-a typical amount one might expect from peers in those days. My parents gave us two dining chairs to go with the table and four chairs I’d purchased earlier. Doug’s mom and dad gave us a stand mixer. We also received, from a dignified older couple, a green ceramic hanging frog ash tray. And—-from a girl who had a crush on Doug and did not care for me one wee little bit—-a squirrel cookie jar. 19. We spent our first night together in Miami, at the airport hotel. We thought staying near the airport would be a great idea, since we’d be leaving there the next morning for Ocho Rios, Jamaica. How could we know that it would be hotter than blazes in Florida, that the air conditioner would be broken, that we would have to open the windows to survive, and that the planes would land and take off RIGHT OUTSIDE OUR WINDOW? Seriously, how could we know that?? 20. By the time we were getting on the plane to head for Jamaica, Doug’s father was having a heart attack. His mother contacted my mother and they debated whether or not they should call us. Doug’s father was in the advanced stages of malignant melanoma and had barely been able to attend the wedding. In fact, he was too sick to stay for the reception. But a heart attack? 21. They decided not to call us. We went to Jamaica, blissfully unaware of what was happening on the home front. When we arrived back at the KC airport one week later, I called my mother to let her know we were on terra firma. “Go straight to the hospital,” she said. “Your father-in-law is not doing well….” Jack made it home from the hospital, but died two months later. 22. I’ve always asked myself what we would have done if his mom had called us before we got on that plane. Would we have skipped our honeymoon? It’s haunted me enough over the course of our marriage that the story actually makes its way into the novel I wrote. In the novel, they skip their honeymoon. 23. We climbed that crazy waterfall in Ocho Rios and we’ve even climbed it once since then. I’ve got some Tarzan and Jane pics to go with the first climb. My rust-colored one-piece suit cost over $30 (off-season, again!) and I still have it. I looked FINE in that suit. On the second climb, ten years ago, let’s just say I did not wear my size-tiny suit. 24. I had a couple of showers, but don’t remember any of my friends giving me lingerie. There was no Victoria’s Secret back then, although I suppose for the gutsy, there was Frederick’s of Hollywood. I wasn’t that brave! The store now known as Dillards used to be Stix, Baer, and Fuller, and they had a beautiful lingerie department. For our wedding night, I purchased a traditional white peignoir set—-a long gown with a matching robe. I still have it, and when I pull it out to take a look, I try to imagine it fitting successfully over a broomstick. It’s that skinny. Sigh. 25. At the all-inclusive resort where we stayed called “Tower Island” (it’s now a Sandals), we were served three fantastic meals each day, typically from a buffet. This is when I learned that Doug is extremely picky and won’t eat anything he doesn’t recognize. For some meals, they dished out only native foods, and Doug sulked while I ate him under the table. This still sometimes happens today. 26. One night in Jamaica, we decided to spring for a meal in a restaurant in the town. We made reservations at Moxie’s, the place with the best reputation. We knew it would cost us ($38!), but we thought it would be fun. We sat at a table on the multi-terraced grounds and enjoyed several moments of peace before THE HUGEST ROACH I’VE EVER SEEN scampered across our candlelit table!!! I totally freaked out and demanded a table inside the restaurant, where the manager actually came to our table and told us that all Americans are WIMPS. 27. We wrote our own vows. I still have them, on ripped out stenographer’s pad paper. I wrote mine in ink, but I believe Doug wrote his in pencil. Neither sheet has faded. 28. I have my intensive to-do lists from those days. Pages and pages of contact info for photographers and bakeries and florists and dress shops. Lists of ideas for gifts to present to our attendants. All the tourist info about Jamaica and notes comparing resorts as far as features and prices, and info from the airlines, as well. An index card for each invited guest, with their address and phone numbers, to which I later added a description of the gifts they gave and the dates I sent thank-you cards. 29. Doug has one note to himself: Get fitted for tux. I had to write myself a note to remind him to read his note. 30. When we’d been married around 25 years, I came upon two thank-you notes I’d written and never mailed. I tracked down the gift-givers and sent the notes! 31. When we visited my parents upon arriving home from Jamaica, my father asked us why we weren’t tanned. He wasn’t known for subtlety. 32. We’re still not tanned. Doug, I can only say that there are a million memories of not just the beginning of our life together, but of every sweet minute with you. Thank you for making them stick. Posted by Katy on 02/19/09 at 08:48 AM Fallible Comments... Oh, I enjoyed reading this for so many reasons! Congrats, you two! How I loved those Gunne Sax dresses! Posted by Suzan on 02/19/09 at 01:46 PM Katy! I love this so much! The picture is classic...you're beautiful! 1) We went to the (now)Sandals at Ocho Rios for our Honeymoon too! There are pictures on Facebook...I'd be facinated to see yours! We didn't climb the waterfall (we were too broke!), but...is Moxie's still there? Because I think I remembered reading it was... 2) Did you ever tell me your dad was Scottish?! (I miss it there...) 3) Four months later, I still haven't done my Thank You cards. I'm a horrible person. Thank you so much for this post. And Happy Anniversary! Posted by Michaela Flack on 02/19/09 at 02:03 PM I wonder if I could come up with 20 things as interesting as this for my wedding...certainly makes me think... This was great to read, and I'm so sorry I missed your anniversary. I don't know where my mind is these days. UGH. Love to you and Doug...you are BOTH very special to me! :) Posted by Bridget on 02/20/09 at 12:32 PM Katy, That was great. Congratulations on your anniversary. It's nice to hear other people's stories. Rob and I eloped, sort of, so I don't have as many details, but we were Jesus freaks too. Maybe I will blog my story next Nov when we hit 39!! Blessings my dear friend. PS. I am writing my funeral service and it definitely has bagpipes!! The two I have been to lately were so boring. I want music, lots and lots of music! to dance to while I watch :) Posted by Sandi Thompson on 02/20/09 at 03:11 PM Hello Katy, That was lovely and quite inspiring. I was married six weeks ago and pray earnestly for such fond memories. Thank you & I look forward to reading more of your writings. Stay blessed. LJ Posted by Lilly on 02/21/09 at 10:28 PM Hello Katy, I enjoyed reading of it for so many reasons! I am a wedding photographer. As fine to take pictures histories of love. Posted by Marina on 03/27/09 at 05:13 AM Katy!I enjoyed reading this for so many reasons, Congratulations on your anniversary.The picture is classic…you’re beautiful!It’s nice to hear other people’s stories. Rob and I eloped, sort of, so I don’t have as many details, but we were Jesus freaks too. Maybe I will blog my story next Nov when we hit 39!! Blessings my dear friend. <a href="http://www.finetuxedos.com">Tuxedo</a> Posted by Tuxedo on 06/10/09 at 01:09 PM Hello, I have never done this before but I need some advice. I am the fiance of an Iraqi war verteran. He has been home for 2 years now. Our wedding would be 5 months away. However, he was issued an order warning for possible deployment to Iraq. We have had to cancel everything. It looks as if they are 99.9% sure that he will be leaving most likely before the start of the summer. My question is......should we move up the wedding and get married before his deployment. He is my world and deployed or not deployed I want to be with him for forever. I need some advice....thank you so much for your time. <a href="http://www.angelbridal.com">Wedding Gown</a> Posted by Wedding Gown on 06/17/09 at 10:35 AM I had some very dear friends of mine be excommunicated for "living in sin" because their marriage wasn't performed in a church. They had it in a nondenominational chapel of a location that meant a great deal to them. It didn't make any difference to the church. They were still considered to not be married. Posted by bodas on 07/29/09 at 01:43 PM Thanks for sharing this insights with us. A wrong timing in taking wedding pictures can indeed ruin the moment. This is the reason why choosing a perfect wedding photography is one detail in my wedding preparation that gives me too much headache.<a href="http://www.pearljewelrysource.com">pearl earrings</a> Posted by pearl earrings on 08/19/09 at 04:53 AM This story is so heart-piercing. Your memory impresses with the details of this story. Thank you for sharing. Posted by wedding photographer Vadim Uvazhny on 08/24/09 at 10:55 AM This is a very nice post. Thanks for sharing. I have learned a lot from this post. For anyone who is looking for wedding bands, visit us at <a href="http://miamiweddingbands.org/">Wedding Musics in Miami</a> for more details on how to make your special day more memorable. Posted by Miami Wedding Band on 08/25/09 at 01:42 AM I have spread my dreams beneath your feet;Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. Posted by florida wedding on 08/25/09 at 01:58 AM I fall asleep, but only for a moment. I dream of her childhood, and then of her grown-up beauty, of her wedding to a wonderful man. Posted by Wedding MC Jokes on 04/24/10 at 05:17 PM "To fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible god." ... Some even suggested I go to the wedding! Posted by rings on 04/30/10 at 02:41 PM I will be wearing a fairly informal ivory dress and would like to wear fairly comfortable shoes that I can feel comfortable in all day. I also do not want to dye shoes, I want shoes that come in ivory. What I would like most is a moderate heel--something about 2 inches or so--with a comfortable wedge heel. I'm having difficulty finding something--can anyone recommend an appropriate shoe? Posted by high heels on 06/04/10 at 08:44 PM Really you got a good partner to share your thoughts with entire life and I love your photography. Posted by Wedding Insurance on 09/09/10 at 12:11 PM That's great! I wonder if I can come up with this 20 things as interesting as this for my wedding and certainly makes me think. This was great to read, and I am so sorry I missed your anniversary. Posted by clialis on 12/13/10 at 01:45 PM Those are probably memories that you will never forget and be able to tell at any minute. Our wedding was very important also and my wife and I can remember every little detail about the day. We even hired two photographers in order to catch photos normally one photographer may not be able to. We keep four very large albums out in our home so we will never forget the memories we may have never seen if it wasn't for photos. Truly something very special to share with others. Posted by Roger on 02/08/11 at 12:54 PM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: Nationalize Me, Baby! Previous entry: Not-So-Fine Print << Back to main


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Personal blog of christianwriter & fallible momKaty McKenna Raymondin Kansas City, Missouri

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Our Fallible Wedding

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri