Katy McKenna Raymond  
Personal blog of christian writer Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri


Katy is represented by
Greg Johnson at
WordServe Literary

Read more Katy at
LateBoomer.net

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Sacked

When my youngest son, Kevin, neared high school graduation, I realized I had a problem. For some reason known only to God and the skillful merchandise marketers at Walmart, I had seriously overestimated the number of paper lunch bags the Raymond household could expect to use in our natural lifetimes.

The idea of my math skills being so bizarrely deficient as to stick me with a surplus of many hundreds of bags has caused me no small amount of anxiety in the ensuing weeks and months, until now something new has been added to my 25-year long struggle with panic attacks: my best guess is that I have hyperventilation syndrome.

As you know if you've been reading here for even a week, last Sunday morning while sleeping I believed I was suffocating. Well, I landed in the ER the next night with the same symptoms, thinking I was certainly having a heart attack or something worse, like maybe imminent death without even bothering to distinguish myself by having the requisite myocardial infarction first.

It would be so like me to pull something like that.

But the EKG checked out fine, the chest x-ray proved to be another yawner, and the CT scan of my chest couldn't even drum up a blood clot or anything. I felt like such a failure.

Then I talked to my counselor a few days ago, who suggested that perhaps I'd manifested hyperventilation syndrome, and that, of course, I should try breathing into a paper bag the next time it happens.

Finally! My guilt over miscalculating our lunch sack needs began to abate as I pictured myself putting those puppies to excellent use balancing my oxygen intake and carbon dioxide output. I dedicated myself anew to being a careful, thoughtful, and grateful steward of the resources God entrusts to me, even if it means hyperventilating in order to make good use of a bad investment.

This morning, though, my paper bag nearly burst. I googled hyperventilation syndrome, and on one site came across this unfortunate piece of information, with no further explanation provided: "Use of paper bag is no longer recommended."

I read it aloud to Doug, who immediately shared my concern.

"Well," he said, "what's the alternative?"

"This says I need to see a shrink."

"You've got one. He said use a paper bag."

We laughed until we cried, but my breathing hasn't felt this normal in days.
Posted by Katy on 03/07/05 at 04:16 PM
Fallible Comments...
  1. Why didn't you tell me that you were in the ER???? Are you okay??? I worry about you!!!! Love coming your way from the 'burg.
    -----
    Posted by Bridget  on  03/08/05  at  02:11 AM
  2. Girl, You're overpunctuating just like I guess I'm "overbreathing"! Just kidding....
    I'm fine, I'm sure. Have to have a stress echo in a couple of weeks, but I've had one before and I'm perfectly OK.

    As you know, the stress of the life we're sharing with Mama has gotten to me, so I suppose this is a sign of that. I wish I didn't wear all my mental illnesses on my sleeve, though! But such is life.... Love you, too!!!!!!!
    Posted by Katy Raymond  on  03/08/05  at  06:53 AM
  3. Katy

    Got me laughing
    Got me worrying
    Got me back to laughing.

    Can I borrow one of those bags?

    Take Care
    Michael
    Posted by Michael  on  03/08/05  at  08:53 PM
  4. Just remember you have a "certified" (or is that "certifiable"?!) counselor in your little sister, too, okay? We'll get through all this together...
    Posted by Bridget  on  03/08/05  at  09:11 PM
  5. Ah Katy - the intricacies of our makeup! At least you can laugh about it. No researach I've seen has negated its positive effects...so keep laughing. Will keep praying for you during this stressful time.
    Posted by violet  on  03/08/05  at  09:59 PM
  6. Katy, I'm sorry to hear what had happened! I haven't been able to read for a couple of days, so I missed out on a lot, it seems... I pray the the problem is not, in fact, a syndrome. Yikes.
    Posted by timsamoff  on  03/09/05  at  12:47 AM
  7. Take Care Michael--Extra! Extra! Get Your Hyperventilation Syndrome Brown Bags Here!
    I THINK I can spare a few... :)

    Bridgie--I appreciate the offer, but what could I give you in return? Lunch bags? Tee, hee. (You'd need them after hanging around me for long...)

    Tim--Frankly, I was relieved that they called it "syndrome." At my age, the last word in the diagnosis is usually "disease"! I don't want a syndrome, either, but at least (supposedly) I can learn to manage it. All prayers for deliverance and healing hugely appreciated!
    Posted by Katy Raymond  on  03/10/05  at  05:17 AM
  8. I'll take a few of those bags. Um, I'll take a LOT of those bags.

    Cool cottage industry!
    Posted by Claudia  on  03/10/05  at  09:52 AM
  9. Claudia--Here I was thinking maybe I'd make some rosaries for a cottage industry, completely overlooking the obvious small business/ministry best suited to my temperament, talent, and experience: Breathing Bags! :)
    Posted by Katy Raymond  on  03/12/05  at  09:46 PM
  10. Lunch bags for kids are the most versatile product on the market today. One father over his lunch hour takes brown paper bags and draws funny artsy pictures over them with Sharpies, using them the next day for his kid's lunch.
    Posted by Executive gifts  on  01/27/11  at  02:38 PM
    11. Page 1 of 1 pages
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