Ten Years Later, Our Girls From Northern Ireland Remembered

“Doug, can we honestly provide a ‘religiously neutral’ home environment?”

I sat filling out an application to become a host family to a pair of teenagers—one Catholic and one Protestant—from Northern Ireland. Until coming across this particular requirement, which the literature repeated several times for emphasis, I imagined we’d be perfect sponsors. My husband and I had grown up Catholic, but we’d raised our own family in a non-denominational Christian church.
We empathized with both sides in the Irish “troubles,” but did that make us religiously neutral? I wanted to make sure that, according to the guidelines provided by the Children’s Friendship Project for Northern Ireland, we fulfilled the letter of the law.

My husband’s answer caught me off guard. “Religious neutrality’s easy. We’ll just avoid favoring either kid’s denomination. It’s not like the organization’s asking us to be spiritually complacent…”

I winced. If we hadn’t exactly grown spiritually complacent, we were certainly comfortable. Our family’s spiritual comfort had been the precise reason I felt we could risk inviting strangers into our home. Our own kids (then 22-year-old Scott, 19-year-old Carrie, and 16-year-old Kevin) enjoyed growing relationships with the Lord, great friends, and positive outlooks. Even if we ended up hosting two Irish kids with serious attitudes, we would still emerge, I hoped, comfortable.

Was that such a bad thing?

I put the signed application in the envelope, sealed it, and prayed for the teens God would send us, all the while feeling more uncomfortable than I had in a long time.

Out of Ireland

“Are you out of yer cotton-pickin’ minds?”

Our entire family—each of us holding cheesy signs bearing the girls’ names—burst out laughing as Sheryl Heaney and Chloe Faulkner, their fresh-off-the-plane faces beaming, delivered their well-rehearsed line in unison. Never had we been victimized by such a horrible rendition of a Southern drawl!

Once again, I was caught off-guard. I’d expected all of us to go through a period of shyness, but awkwardness in the presence of these girls couldn’t achieve even a toehold. We were out of our cotton-pickin’ minds, all right, but in very good company.

In County Tyrone, the girls’ religions dictated where they shopped, the sports they played, the schools they attended, and even whether they entertained a belief in leprechauns. In day-to-day life, their paths weren’t likely to cross. We determined that while in our country, they’d spend every waking moment together—and every sleeping moment, too. If by some miracle they succeeded in becoming true friends, who knew how big an impact they might have on their communities back in Northern Ireland?

For now, though, Northern Ireland would have to wait. For the month of July, 2001, Sheryl and Chloe belonged to Kansas City, and the whole city belonged to them.

To get things rolling, we threw a huge Fourth of July party with friends, family, and fireworks. The organization warned us that fireworks might frighten the teens, but instead they were thrilled. Within days, the group’s thoughtful warnings fell by the wayside, as Sheryl and Chloe embraced regulated sunbathing, strange foods, and distinctly American entertainments.

More than anything, they desperately longed to see cowboys in ten-gallon hats and pointy-toed boots, riding vicious livestock in a good old-fashioned rodeo. Before the opening act started, though, the Irish girls and our kids headed off to buy soft drinks.

Had they lost interest already? “Hurry back. You don’t want to miss the bulls.”

I should have known their innocent smiles meant trouble. By the time we realized they’d been gone too long, they returned with sheepish grins—and Sheryl sporting a limp. If only someone had warned us about the mechanical bull!

Spreading the Word

As the weeks went on, Sheryl and Chloe accumulated so many shared experiences and touched so many lives—whether hammering with Habitat for Humanity or cruising in a police car with my brother-in-law cop—that the Kansas City Star decided to print a front-page story about them. The reporter and photographer shadowed the girls, along with our kids, for a couple of days, following them into shops on the Plaza, treating them to lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, and even accompanying them to church.

Rather than attend their separate denominations on Sundays, the girls insisted on experiencing our church, Great Plains Community, together. They found Pastor Tom Blasco’s messages entertaining and meaningful, the music energetic and engaging, and the youth group welcoming.

In other words, even at church, they found common ground.

Once back on Northern Ireland’s soil, the girls remained close. They continued posting entries to the online journal Doug helped them set up, and looked forward to attending university in Belfast in the fall of 2002.

Imagine our shock when Sheryl once again made the newspapers—this time for her death. Just one year after we fell in love with her, she and her sister Tara lost their lives in a car accident on a treacherous piece of road in County Louth.

As horrible as we felt, we couldn’t deny God’s grace in the midst of tragedy. Sheryl, a Catholic, had engendered such respect among Catholics and Protestants alike in County Tyrone that a local Protestant parade—a recurring thorn in the side for Catholics—was canceled in her honor. Not only that, but her parents, Michael and Gwen Heaney, invited a Protestant minister to join the Catholic priest in presiding over the funeral of their daughters, setting an unheard-of precedent.

Against all odds, people from both sides of the conflict came together in genuine sorrow to mourn the community’s loss in a way rarely witnessed in Northern Ireland.

Sheryl and Chloe made a difference not only in their world, but in our world, too. In the end, Doug was right. Whether or not we were religiously neutral didn’t seem to matter much to our girls. But it would have been sad indeed if—given such a wonderful opportunity to touch a pair of lives—we’d been spiritually complacent.

In the end, two young women became unlikely friends, lured us out of our risk-free existence, and ultimately caused us to lean, once again, on the God of all comfort.

Posted by Katy on 07/13/11 at 03:31 PM

Fallible Comments...

Oh, Katy! I'm wiping tears from my eyes. How often we forgot God takes what seems like a very small act of compassion and obedience and multiplies it many times over, as He did with these girls. What a wonderful story!
Posted by Anne Mateer on 07/13/11 at 04:46 PM
wow, katy, you succeeded in changing the world, two teenagers at a time! how sad to read of the car accident, but what a legacy for her. i pray it continues to make a lasting impression and help heal the various factions' wounds.
Posted by Sue Haley on 07/13/11 at 05:05 PM
Difference in religion was never a hindrance to create a good relationship with the people around us. A speaker from <a href="http://www.millionairemindevents.com/united-states/new-jersey/">Millionaire Mind Intensive Seminar</a> has the very same story and she shared it to us. Nevertheless, we all believe in one God though we have different ways in worshiping Him.
Posted by Jaynan Mitchel on 09/12/11 at 02:13 AM
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Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	Ten Years Later, Our Girls From Northern Ireland Remembered “Doug, can we honestly provide a ‘religiously neutral’ home environment?” I sat filling out an application to become a host family to a pair of teenagers—one Catholic and one Protestant—from Northern Ireland. Until coming across this particular requirement, which the literature repeated several times for emphasis, I imagined we’d be perfect sponsors. My husband and I had grown up Catholic, but we’d raised our own family in a non-denominational Christian church. We empathized with both sides in the Irish “troubles,” but did that make us religiously neutral? I wanted to make sure that, according to the guidelines provided by the Children’s Friendship Project for Northern Ireland, we fulfilled the letter of the law. My husband’s answer caught me off guard. “Religious neutrality’s easy. We’ll just avoid favoring either kid’s denomination. It’s not like the organization’s asking us to be spiritually complacent…” I winced. If we hadn’t exactly grown spiritually complacent, we were certainly comfortable. Our family’s spiritual comfort had been the precise reason I felt we could risk inviting strangers into our home. Our own kids (then 22-year-old Scott, 19-year-old Carrie, and 16-year-old Kevin) enjoyed growing relationships with the Lord, great friends, and positive outlooks. Even if we ended up hosting two Irish kids with serious attitudes, we would still emerge, I hoped, comfortable. Was that such a bad thing? I put the signed application in the envelope, sealed it, and prayed for the teens God would send us, all the while feeling more uncomfortable than I had in a long time. Out of Ireland “Are you out of yer cotton-pickin’ minds?” Our entire family—each of us holding cheesy signs bearing the girls’ names—burst out laughing as Sheryl Heaney and Chloe Faulkner, their fresh-off-the-plane faces beaming, delivered their well-rehearsed line in unison. Never had we been victimized by such a horrible rendition of a Southern drawl! Once again, I was caught off-guard. I’d expected all of us to go through a period of shyness, but awkwardness in the presence of these girls couldn’t achieve even a toehold. We were out of our cotton-pickin’ minds, all right, but in very good company. In County Tyrone, the girls’ religions dictated where they shopped, the sports they played, the schools they attended, and even whether they entertained a belief in leprechauns. In day-to-day life, their paths weren’t likely to cross. We determined that while in our country, they’d spend every waking moment together—and every sleeping moment, too. If by some miracle they succeeded in becoming true friends, who knew how big an impact they might have on their communities back in Northern Ireland? For now, though, Northern Ireland would have to wait. For the month of July, 2001, Sheryl and Chloe belonged to Kansas City, and the whole city belonged to them. To get things rolling, we threw a huge Fourth of July party with friends, family, and fireworks. The organization warned us that fireworks might frighten the teens, but instead they were thrilled. Within days, the group’s thoughtful warnings fell by the wayside, as Sheryl and Chloe embraced regulated sunbathing, strange foods, and distinctly American entertainments. More than anything, they desperately longed to see cowboys in ten-gallon hats and pointy-toed boots, riding vicious livestock in a good old-fashioned rodeo. Before the opening act started, though, the Irish girls and our kids headed off to buy soft drinks. Had they lost interest already? “Hurry back. You don’t want to miss the bulls.” I should have known their innocent smiles meant trouble. By the time we realized they’d been gone too long, they returned with sheepish grins—and Sheryl sporting a limp. If only someone had warned us about the mechanical bull! Spreading the Word As the weeks went on, Sheryl and Chloe accumulated so many shared experiences and touched so many lives—whether hammering with Habitat for Humanity or cruising in a police car with my brother-in-law cop—that the Kansas City Star decided to print a front-page story about them. The reporter and photographer shadowed the girls, along with our kids, for a couple of days, following them into shops on the Plaza, treating them to lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, and even accompanying them to church. Rather than attend their separate denominations on Sundays, the girls insisted on experiencing our church, Great Plains Community, together. They found Pastor Tom Blasco’s messages entertaining and meaningful, the music energetic and engaging, and the youth group welcoming. In other words, even at church, they found common ground. Once back on Northern Ireland’s soil, the girls remained close. They continued posting entries to the online journal Doug helped them set up, and looked forward to attending university in Belfast in the fall of 2002. Imagine our shock when Sheryl once again made the newspapers—this time for her death. Just one year after we fell in love with her, she and her sister Tara lost their lives in a car accident on a treacherous piece of road in County Louth. As horrible as we felt, we couldn’t deny God’s grace in the midst of tragedy. Sheryl, a Catholic, had engendered such respect among Catholics and Protestants alike in County Tyrone that a local Protestant parade—a recurring thorn in the side for Catholics—was canceled in her honor. Not only that, but her parents, Michael and Gwen Heaney, invited a Protestant minister to join the Catholic priest in presiding over the funeral of their daughters, setting an unheard-of precedent. Against all odds, people from both sides of the conflict came together in genuine sorrow to mourn the community’s loss in a way rarely witnessed in Northern Ireland. Sheryl and Chloe made a difference not only in their world, but in our world, too. In the end, Doug was right. Whether or not we were religiously neutral didn’t seem to matter much to our girls. But it would have been sad indeed if—given such a wonderful opportunity to touch a pair of lives—we’d been spiritually complacent. In the end, two young women became unlikely friends, lured us out of our risk-free existence, and ultimately caused us to lean, once again, on the God of all comfort. Posted by Katy on 07/13/11 at 03:31 PM Fallible Comments... Oh, Katy! I'm wiping tears from my eyes. How often we forgot God takes what seems like a very small act of compassion and obedience and multiplies it many times over, as He did with these girls. What a wonderful story! Posted by Anne Mateer on 07/13/11 at 04:46 PM wow, katy, you succeeded in changing the world, two teenagers at a time! how sad to read of the car accident, but what a legacy for her. i pray it continues to make a lasting impression and help heal the various factions' wounds. Posted by Sue Haley on 07/13/11 at 05:05 PM Difference in religion was never a hindrance to create a good relationship with the people around us. A speaker from <a href="http://www.millionairemindevents.com/united-states/new-jersey/">Millionaire Mind Intensive Seminar</a> has the very same story and she shared it to us. Nevertheless, we all believe in one God though we have different ways in worshiping Him. Posted by Jaynan Mitchel on 09/12/11 at 02:13 AM When a hiring manager needs to go through hundreds of resumes, he or she will take every mistake into consideration: poor organization, a typo or two, and even a misplaced comma. Additionally, as a hiring manager may only spend a minute or two reading a resume and cover letter, your application must make a quick and distinct impression. Posted by real resume help on 10/12/11 at 01:59 AM Once you have booked your exhibition space, you need to consider what you will have in that space to best promote your business. There are several types of exhibition stand to investigate, each of which has its own special qualities. Posted by canadian art market on 10/16/11 at 01:54 AM By using the costumer designed postcard it promotes their menu and especially it is established by the images for their business. The Commuter of the town is situated near the airport, railway station and other module of transportation, which gets the gain from the designer postcards Posted by Basel Restaurant on 11/01/11 at 12:57 AM When you are ending a marriage, achieving a quick and amicable solution will benefit both parties involved. Many marriages end in anger, with deep frustration at personal failings on both sides - this can often have an effect on health and families. Posted by st john family lawyer on 11/21/11 at 10:24 PM The secret of life is knows how to live it well. First, It is important to like yourself. Second, be sensitive to the good karma that surrounds you and share. Last, just always remember, you do have a choice in life. <a href="http://www.essay-service.org/term-paper/">term paper</a> Posted by Mitch on 11/22/11 at 05:03 AM This is an excellent blog because it has good volume of information, everything is described in the simplest manner and all information on this blog is genuine and real Posted by pou water cooler on 12/18/11 at 05:14 PM Great, I really enjoyed reading your article here, thanks for the good insight and keep up the good work. Posted by online tefl courses on 12/21/11 at 12:35 AM this is extremely the sweet story that I have seen. Posted by ipad 2 case on 02/26/12 at 07:58 AM Its not the geostationary that commonwealth moldiness be completely fused with communicator's views neighboring musing. So this is what happened with me, anyways its a talking toil, I revalue it. Thanks <a href="http://www.wishes7.com/category/birthday-wishes/">here</a> Posted by jgurma on 05/08/12 at 01:23 AM Definitely a good art. I like what you've got in here. Thanks a lot for sharing.. <a href="http://www.milwaukeecarpetcleaningservices.com/">carpet cleaning Milwaukee</a> Posted by carpet cleaning Milwaukee on 05/28/12 at 01:01 AM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: Stuck On Mom Previous entry: The Thrift of Grief << Back to main


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Ten Years Later, Our Girls From Northern Ireland Remembered

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri